Intro:

If you’ve ever felt like the black sheep of your family—the one who could never do anything right, who got blamed for everything, and who constantly questioned their own worth—you’re not alone. Especially if that dynamic came from your mother.

Growing up with a narcissistic parent, particularly as the scapegoat, is an experience that can quietly shape your entire sense of self. The wounds aren’t always visible, but they run deep.

This post is for you. For the women who still carry the weight of that pain, who are learning to stand in their truth, and who are ready to stop living with guilt that never belonged to them.

Living With the Guilt That Was Never Yours

One of the hardest parts of healing from this kind of trauma is untangling the guilt. Narcissistic mothers are experts at guilt-tripping. They can make you feel responsible for their emotions, their disappointments, and their chaos.

And when you finally begin to protect your peace—when you set boundaries or go low/no contact—the guilt can sneak in like a storm cloud.

But let’s be clear:

It’s not your job to carry that guilt.

You didn’t cause the dysfunction. You didn’t deserve the manipulation, the emotional neglect, or the cruel criticisms. You were just a kid, trying to feel safe and seen.

Now, as an adult, you get to put that weight down.

The Self-Worth Struggle Is Real

Being the scapegoat teaches you that you’re always wrong. That your feelings are too much. That you’re the cause of problems just by existing.

Sound familiar?

Maybe you still second-guess everything you do. Maybe you apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Maybe you struggle to believe you’re worthy of love without having to earn it.

You’re not broken—you’re healing.

You learned to survive in a space where your real self wasn’t welcome. But now? You get to build a life where she is.

Reclaiming Your Story

Healing means telling the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when others deny your experience.

You get to choose your story now. You get to define what love, respect, and connection really look like.

You’re not “too much”—you’re deeply intuitive.

You’re not “difficult”—you’re discerning.

You’re not “the problem”—you’re the pattern breaker.

That takes courage. And you’ve got it.

You’re Not Alone—And There Are Tools That Help

If any of this sounds familiar, know this: there’s an entire community of women who’ve walked through this pain and are coming out the other side.

Start with one small step.

Maybe it’s journaling.

Maybe it’s telling someone the truth about what happened.

Maybe it’s just letting yourself feel the grief.

And if you need a guide who really gets it, I can’t recommend Dr. Ramani’s podcast on Spotify enough. She explains narcissistic abuse in a way that’s clear, validating, and honestly life-changing. Her words have helped so many of us feel seen—and they might help you too.

Final Thoughts:

You don’t owe anyone your silence.

You don’t have to carry guilt that was never yours.

You are allowed to take up space, speak your truth, and reclaim your peace.

You are allowed to heal